Sun God Bed Death

boyqueen:

sixtyforty:

saschaeatsteeth:

I feel like I don’t deliberately perform femme-ness & don’t qualify as femme, like, I’m so “black cropped gay-ass but definitely dudely looking hair, no makeup, all black fitted clothes always, heavy black boots” and that’s it. But I want to cover everything on the planet in red lace & wear a red lace dressing gown in my room & drink out of pink teacups & make flowered cakes with violent misandrist messages lovingly piped on them and bedazzle an entire whale skeleton & live inside of it with red lace stockings on underneath my very plain practical uniform. Idk what the difference is (for me personally in my navigations) between femme, effeminate, & just plain faggy but whatever, more red lace in my bedroom please?

I love Sascha.

this is like, slightly tangential, but I’ve also been thinking a lot especially lately about how certain kinds of performative “femininity” (like, whatever that actually means) get held up as recognizably femme.  In a way that sometimes assumes that “femme” has to be… recognizable and performative to be existent?  But I don’t know, I see femme-ness and queeniness and femininity and whatever as things that we carry in our own bodies and ourselves in very individual ways that don’t always have to be visible to other people.

Like, the same way that I’m still a boy when I’m presenting hella femme, I’m still a femme when other people might read my presentation as like “butch” or something.  For me, part of femme for sure is the aspect of exploring and reclaiming different versions of performative femininity (like, in my clothes and my gesture and my make-up) that instantly draw up cues of fagginess or queenieness or even womanly-ness to other people and sort of… fucking with that?

But femme is also just something that’s in my bones, like any other element of my gender, regardless of how I’m presenting.

I guess I’m thinking about it because I’m often very wary around people who I read as being “butch” or “masculine” and though that’s like a safety tactic because I’ve had so many awful misogynistic, femmephobic experiences with masculine folks… it also ignores that I can’t actually necessarily read femmeness on other ppl’s bods.  I think it’s easy for me to get caught up and excited about folks who’s femmeness I instantly recognize, and in some ways that’s valid, but it can also be hella fucked.  Especially if/when my frame of reference for femininity is through a white & class-privileged lens that obscures so many folks ways of being femme. 

tl:dr; whatevs.